Well screw you too!

Dya know what I need right now,

a good old big sobby cry,like wailing like a love-struck banshee,PROPER STYLE.
I can remember the last time I had a good cry that didnt involve alcohol or hormones.

Some time ago I decided to stop crying, no joke like actually said to myself 'im giving this crap up'
Only because I had come to believe that crying was a sign of weakness and it was quite attention seeking. I now realise that I was completely and utterly WRONG.WRONG. WRONG.

The truth in the matter is ,guy or girl, we all need a good cry sometimes,just to let everything wash over you completely. You know that feeling?
When something happens to you or you hear something you dont like that triggers a powerful enabler in you that either fills you with pure and utter blissful rage or uncontainable flowing saddness, you get that feeling in your stomach like someone just punched you hard right in the pancreas,your mouth suddenly goes dry with a lumpy sensation in the back of your throat,your eyes slowly start to well up and you can feel pin-pricks as you try with all your might to contain yourself. Your breathing gets heavier and your cheast suddenly feels like it about to explode with anxiety and fear as you start to give in just a little bit.
Finally you take a gasp, and slowly but surely you start to feel the hot,warm tears that begin to travel from your eyes down your cheeck, they tickle a little bit, but your so absorbed in the moment of feeling so alone and hurt that you barely notice it except for when the tears have made there way down your face and fall.
You try with all your might to stop it, you wipe your face,hold your breath,close your eyes but you just cant seem to turn the taps off.That heavy feeling starts to circle around your head in a black cloud and for those 2-5minutes you give in and let it wash over you.

Thats a good cry. Sometimes it is for a good reason,other times it can be for no reason at all,at the most unlikely time of day, in the most publically awkward place ever. Im not paticularly talking about those cries you have to your girlfriends in the toilets of some nightclub in a drunken fueled conversation that you wont remember tommorow morning, or in the midsts of a heated arguement over something small with a boyfriend/girlfriend/parent/friend/lover.
Im talking about those good old cries that NEED to be done.
The ones when least expected,where you give into pride and let your walls down.

Some people say crying is a sign of courage.
That it shows that you are human
Shows that you care even when you pretend you dont
I think all these are true. Crying really is not a sign of weakness.

I used to get sooo annoyed with myself if I cried. It was the one thing I hated the most about myself, was that I was a big-old water-works who cried at the drop of a hat over anything and everything. When I gave that up, I think I started to build up some walls that had no purpose. I built a defensive system around myself and tried to male myself believe that I was strong and could handle all the bull-crap that life throws at you for no reason.
Turns out I shouldnt have gotten annoyed with myself everytime I cried. Ive grown to only cry when its nessessary on MY terms, and thats totally okay for anyone to do. The hormones have been controlled as Im a long way away from those days when I cried over a bitchy comment from an idiot who didnt undertand the words they were useing. It becomes different when you get older. Crying does become a vital part of keeping yourself sane! Ha!

Crying is good,end of.

xoxox